So - you've got it all sorted here in terms of story etc... but I really think you could be having more directorial fun with what you've got here! In terms of 'mobs' and 'witches', perhaps you're missing out on some additional scenes before your witch turns the tables; for example, just after we enter the picture, you could certainly extend the 'mob scene' to make it more immersive and more dramatic and more subjective: for example...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KWcPI2SGhlo
Anyway, I think you need to establish the villain much more before you turn the twist, so we need to think your witch has no power and the bishop is in control: I want you to consider the power of montage editing here - to create the frenzy and excitement of the mob, with the bishop revving them up and the witch screaming, cutting between the crowds, the witch, the bishop, the bonfire and so on - and then, you can have your witch cutting through all of that and turning the tables: more angles, more panels, more flourish!
I like your witch character - but we'll be looking to you to explore her thoroughly in terms of model sheets and expression sheets, so...
(You're designing a character that must be understood as a 3d object).
You need to work on developing your 'villain' - the bishop - lots more to try out and work on: for some influence and inspiration check out the character designs for John Ratcliffe from Disney's Pocahontas, Claude Frollo from Hunchback and also Clayton from Tarzon - they're all in the same zone. I also want you to think much more about the design of your museum; it does feel as if your usual style is moving you away from getting into the sort of detail and richness we might expect from an interior like this, for example:
I would like to see you venturing out a bit more and a) doing much more visual research in terms of your museum interior/exterior and b) seeking to introduce a greater variety of detail, shading and tone.
So - short version - this is absolutely going to work, but I want you to dial up your creative ambition for the direction of your story (have more cinematic fun with your big dramatic scenes) and also for your art direction.
We talked briefly about voice-over artists: check out this site for someone who might be able to help you...
OGR 07/02/2019
ReplyDeleteHey Sandy,
So - you've got it all sorted here in terms of story etc... but I really think you could be having more directorial fun with what you've got here! In terms of 'mobs' and 'witches', perhaps you're missing out on some additional scenes before your witch turns the tables; for example, just after we enter the picture, you could certainly extend the 'mob scene' to make it more immersive and more dramatic and more subjective: for example...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KWcPI2SGhlo
Anyway, I think you need to establish the villain much more before you turn the twist, so we need to think your witch has no power and the bishop is in control: I want you to consider the power of montage editing here - to create the frenzy and excitement of the mob, with the bishop revving them up and the witch screaming, cutting between the crowds, the witch, the bishop, the bonfire and so on - and then, you can have your witch cutting through all of that and turning the tables: more angles, more panels, more flourish!
I like your witch character - but we'll be looking to you to explore her thoroughly in terms of model sheets and expression sheets, so...
https://characterdesignreferences.com/art-of-animation-3/the-pirates-in-an-adventure-with-scientists
(You're designing a character that must be understood as a 3d object).
You need to work on developing your 'villain' - the bishop - lots more to try out and work on: for some influence and inspiration check out the character designs for John Ratcliffe from Disney's Pocahontas, Claude Frollo from Hunchback and also Clayton from Tarzon - they're all in the same zone. I also want you to think much more about the design of your museum; it does feel as if your usual style is moving you away from getting into the sort of detail and richness we might expect from an interior like this, for example:
http://thechromologist.com/5-decorating-lessons-from-the-sir-john-soane-museum/
I would like to see you venturing out a bit more and a) doing much more visual research in terms of your museum interior/exterior and b) seeking to introduce a greater variety of detail, shading and tone.
So - short version - this is absolutely going to work, but I want you to dial up your creative ambition for the direction of your story (have more cinematic fun with your big dramatic scenes) and also for your art direction.
We talked briefly about voice-over artists: check out this site for someone who might be able to help you...
https://www.fiverr.com